Posts Tagged ‘iTunes’


November 16, 2010

At long last, today is finally here.  I will never forget today, because something unbelievable happened.

Did aliens finally arrive on Earth?  Have scientists discovered a cure for cancer?  Is there evidence proving, or disproving, the existence of God?

No, the Beatles are on iTunes.  This, my friends, was Apple’s big announcement, the thing they promised that would make today the day I never forget.

I’m not sure if I have anything to say here.  This is so pathetic, such a monumental flop, such a marketing fail of Appleian proportions that I fear saying anything at all would validate Apple and make them continue doing stupid stuff like this.  If this isn’t an iFail I don’t know what is.

This does leave me with a philosophical question:  if Steve Jobs makes a sound in the forest with everybody around to hear it, will anyone care?


Here We Go Again — More Hype From Apple

November 15, 2010

Today I discovered that  tomorrow will be a day I will never forget.  Like, ever.  How could I possibly know that I will never forget tomorrow when tomorrow isn’t even today yet?  Because Steve Jobs told me so!

Clearly, Apple has not learned anything about overhyping their stuff:  the iPad was mockingly compared to the Ten Commandments (no, seriously), the iPhone4 turned into an iFail before it was discovered to have problems, er, making phone calls, and so forth.

I can’t believe I have to tell this to an adult, but here it goes.

Dearest Steve Jobs: have you ever read The Boy Who Cried Wolf?  Yes?  Well, re-read it on your iPad or whatever.  You are that boy, and I don’t care about your wolves.   Your announcements do not resonate with me forever, other than in mockery or contempt.  Additionally, I don’t like being told about things I’m supposed to remember by anybody, much less some corporate brand.

I’ve had many experiences which I will never forget.  There was the time I was nearly run over by a giant pig.  (No, seriously.)  I remember the first time I set foot on African soil.  And there are far more personal memories which I will not share on this blog.  Of all my memories, both good and bad, none of them involved Apple or any kind of corporate announcement. Like, ever.

So ease off the rhetoric a little, yeah?  You’re starting to give me a rash.